Christina Mei Rouse

In the garden


In the garden, I feel close to my mother

It is a place I have always known her to be

Where the names of her plants

comply with her love for wordplay:

snow on the mountain, bleeding hearts, 

hens and chicks, forget-me-nots

Her fingers hug the necks of snapdragons

and silently they open their mouths, like puppets

I catch grasshoppers and sprinkle salt on slugs

She assembles bouquets from cuttings 

of yarrow and daisies, peonies and sweet peas

Pansies are plucked, pressed, and preserved 

entombed between sheets of newsprint

weighed down under encyclopedias 

until the petals are as dry as paper

We pick raspberries in the morning

and water in the evening

We are as stubborn as weeds, she and I

squatting low to the earth 

while we dig and prune and plant

Her knuckles swell and my back aches, 

but we stay outside until the sun has set 

because we are happy here, in the garden.


Boo


Black cat, green eyes, no tail

Skittish and unfriendly

I reach for the pitcher in the pitch black 

When off the counter he jumps

And I jump, not realizing he was hidden in the dark

And when I whisper, “Boo!”

I’m not really sure who scared who

Because I’ve not meant to frighten

That’s just his name


Bliss


Standing in the kitchen with my uncle

Eating fresh pineapple from the yard

No plates or utensils, just fingers

Juice dripping down our hands into the sink

Where we can wash the sweetness down the drain

Before the ants come marching in


Undone


I am seated in front of the vanity where, as a girl, my mother brushed her hair. 

Conscious that time is untravellable, the younger version of my mother unknowable to me. 

Were we similar as young women, she and I? 

I am 17 years older than the last time I sat here, and I’m feeling uncomfortably aware that time is unstoppable. 

I miss the younger, wide-eyed version of myself – unburdened, unwrinkled, unabashed.

But no sense unraveling while dwelling on the unavoidable. 

No amount of wishing will stop the undoing of this body, until God gives me a new one.

When what is sown perishable will be raised imperishable. 

Inclined to looking backward, I don’t want this nostalgia to undermine the present.

And perhaps, with faith, it’s not unbelievable – that the best is yet to come.


Invasive


The crab spiders resemble crustaceans 

As they scuttle across their webs

My uncle swipes at them with a broom

Brushing their strands of sunlight from the trees

Stomping them underfoot when they fall to the ground

They are guilty of eating the bees


The parakeets are foragers  

Streaks of spearmint flying across the blue sky

Without any predators to fear

They descend to ravage the lychee

The pink of the fruit irresistible to their eyes

Greedily they steal the farmer’s harvest


The feral chickens rule the islands

Running across the roads at will

Roaming freely from one yard to the next

They spend their days scratching in the dirt

Looking for insects and seeds to eat 

Their claws destroy the vegetation


The coqui frogs sing at bedtime

One of the world’s loudest amphibians

Throats ballooning to amplify their tune

Up to a cacophonous 100 decibels

As noisy and repetitive as a siren

They keep me from sleep


The crab spiders, the parakeets, the chickens, the coqui

Each one is an invader

Operating outside of its intended boundaries

Yet it is not simply a case of bad versus good

It is an imbalance

Where beauty destroys beauty


And I find myself weighing pairs of two

Wishing both could coexist in harmony

The spider’s silken web with the pollinator’s usefulness 

The flash of green feathers and the grower’s crop

The flock of fowl with the flourishing foliage

The tune of the coqui and the restfulness of quiet

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